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The Da-Schilling Code: The real Translation of his Bonds Apology

Sorry for the slow response on this one but I really needed to process and use my sleuthing skills to figure out the real meaning of the Curt Schilling apology. So what I am going to do is cut and paste Curt’s apology from his www.38pitches.com blog, put his words in quotes and then translate the true meaning of what Mr. Schilling is attempting to say.

Curt Schilling: “Everyone has days and events in life they’d love to push the rewind button on, yesterday was one of those days. Regardless of my opinions, thoughts and beliefs on anything Barry Bonds it was absolutely irresponsible and wrong to say what I did. I don’t think it’s within anyone’s right to say the things I said yesterday and affect other people’s lives in that way.”

Translation: I do not really believe anything I just spewed out on my blog because all I really did was attract more attention to myself and that is my true goal in life. I have always spoken my mind and the first thing that comes to mind and forms on the lips is what I am going to say. Everybody loves me so I can just blab away about anything baseball related or socially interesting at that time.

Curt Schilling: “I’d love to tell you I was ambushed, misquoted, misinterpreted, something other than what it was, but I wasn’t. I’m thinking that waking up at 8:30 am to do the weekly interview we do with WEEI is probably not the greatest format and if you heard the interview it’s not hard to realize that I’m usually awake about 30-45 seconds before it begins. That’s still no excuse or reason to say what I did, or even answer the question that was asked. The question I was asked and the answer I gave yesterday affected a lot more people than just he and I. His wife, his children, his friends and his family were all affected by that, as were mine and my teammates.”

Translation: Nobody likes to get up early so if I blame the idea that I made these comments on being tired cause I just woke up I bet all of Red Sox Nation and for that matter the whole nation will be sympathetic to me because who likes to get up early. Who really wants to take responsibility for what they say anymore, I am just going to blame my comments on the fact that I was tired and see if millions of educated Americans buy this idea. I will keep my fingers crossed on this one.

Curt Schilling: “As someone who’s made it very clear I have major issues with members of the media that take little or no pride in their work it’s the height of hypocrisy for me to say what I did, in any forum. I started this blog to give people a look into the life we live on and off the field, not to get into back and forths with people I don’t like or have issues with. Doing that will only make this a rant-filled, no content bunch of words.”

Translation: Nobody likes the media anymore so I better throw them into this apology so people can relate to that. Also, I do not know what hypocrisy means but a lot of people have been calling me a hypocrite so I better say I am one so my apology seems more sincere.

Curt Schillig: “Quite a few people have tossed Biblical references my way in the past week or so after the Thorne incident in Baltimore talking about turning the other cheek and being above the fray. I’ve often thought I do and try to be that way, but it’s very clear in the last two weeks I’ve done the exact opposite. That’s not to say I won’t respond when I feel someone’s calling me out and is wrong, but doing so in every instance will serve no one and only make me say and act like the very people I have issues with.”

Translation: I definitely need to discuss the bible so this is where I insert that point and just for fun I will also have to talk about Jesus and my faith, stay tuned for those comments. Nobody can criticize me when I throw out religious references and my faith because even that is still off limits in America.

Curt Schilling: “The only perfect human to walk the face of the earth died a few thousand years ago, that much I know. I am far from perfect and make more than my share of mistakes, which is something I have no problem with because that’s part of being human. However when my mistakes adversely affect other peoples lives, that’s a big deal. It was a callous, reckless and irresponsible thing to say, and for that I apologize to Barry, Barry’s family, Barry’s friends and the Giants organization, my teammates and the Red Sox organization as well as anyone else who may have been offended by the comments I made.”

Translation: Ding ding ding. Yup it is Jesus time. So if I reference Jesus now and say that only one person has ever been perfect than I will show that I am humble and not really as full of myself as I know I am. I am actually Jesus but if I told people that I might lose some fans so for now I will just keep it to myself. I am going to try and spin this and never take back my words so I will only apologize to people that were offended because I am sure that is only a couple of people because everyybody knows that Barry did all the things he said and even if he did not I was able to get myself a few days in the press and on Sportscenter and places like that and I am simply here to promote myself.

Flash Flash’s translation: Schilling is a disgusting human being. I think he might spontaneously combust when he retires because it will be nearly impossible to get as much media attention versus when he played baseball. He is only concerned about himself and how he is portrayed by fans and in the media. He does not think before he speaks and makes it more difficult to be his teammate because it is exhausting to defend him on an almost daily basis. He does not have Hall of Fame numbers so he needs to promote himself as much as possible so he can make it to Cooperstown. I hope he only gets invited there to clean the toilets.

I actually give Bonds credit for not suing Schilling. That only would have given Schilling another vehicle to get in the limelight.

Flash Flash

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May 11, 2007 Posted by | Cooperstown, ESPN, Francona, MLB, Red Sox, San Francisco Giants, Schilling, Terry Francona | 11 Comments

Schilling’s Bloody, I mean painted, sock!!!

I hate to bring up old news from 2.5 years ago but this was classic. Last night, during the Orioles/Red Sox broadcast on the Orioles home TV network, Gary Thorne, who does play by play for the O’s and is a nationally renowned baseball commentator, stated loud and clear during the broadcast (bottom of the 5th if you Tivoed it) that he spoke with Doug Mirabelli in the past and Doug told Gary that Schilling’s bloody sock was in fact paint and it was PR stunt. Then again two innings later, Thorne brought up the painted sock again. Mirabelli strongly denied he ever had this conversation with Thorne but it brings this issue to public light again. Here is a Boston Globe Article that breaks down in detail how the conversation went down and some reactions from Mirabelli, Francona, Millar, etc… – Bloody mess, Schilling’s sock called into question

I want to take this a step further. If you have the time, go visit Coopertstown and check out the “bloody” sock. Schilling loaned it to the Hall of Fame and it will be there for another year. If you look at the sock, the sock is still red. Why is this an issue you ask? It is an issue because dried blood does not stay red, it turns brown. That sock in the Hall of Fame is still clearly red. Something is up and this needs to be investigated.

Why is this all an issue. 1) The sock is valued at $1 million 2) It is the Red Sox so everybody pays attention 3) Schilling is a media whore and will do anything to publicize himself.

It would be a shame for somebody to buy this sock, even if Schilling donates the proceeds to charity, and it turns out the buyer was duped and simply bought a hoax, a painted sock. I have always thought the sock was a fake and there was not blood on it. I thought they used ketchup but paint will do it. I am calling on Curt Schilling to immediately approve DNA testing on his sock so we can settle this once and for all. Curt…. if it really is bloody than you will have no problem having the sock tested and if you do not allow testing than we can only believe that you are hiding something and it is in fact paint on that sock. Based on the way Mirabelli and Francona angrily responded to questions about the sock, I am guessing this is one big hoax. Come clean Curt!!!

April 26, 2007 Posted by | Cooperstown, ESPN, Francona, Hall of Fame, MLB, Red Sox, Schilling, Terry Francona | 15 Comments